The Ultimate Pinterest Fail

. November 3, 2015.

This summer will go down as my Pinterest fail.

My journey began around the time school ended. The pine tree in my backyard decided to drop about a thousand pinecones this summer. Through some research I learned that there are male and female pine cones and this is part of the tree’s reproductive cycle. Apparently, my tree was getting its sexy on. And I was left to literally pick up the pieces off my lawn nearly every day.

At first, not knowing how many pinecones would eventually drop, I saved them in a grocery sack. Then I started gathering them in a department store plastic bag. Eventually, I had a black garbage bag full of them. Did I throw them away? No. I thought there had to be a way to reuse them in some artsy, kitschy, “look what I made” kind of way. I should have known better.

I don’t blame the tree. I blame Pinterest.

For those who don’t know, Pinterest is the high-tech version of ripping pages out of magazines for future reference. Instead of stowing them away in a drawer never to be referenced again, they are online for everyone to see. Like a dress? Pin it to your virtual bulletin board. Pretty soon other people will pin it. There is a board for everything. Even pinecones.

There were pictures of pinecone Santas, candle holders, table decorations, wreaths, placecards, turkeys and even jewelry. I had no idea you could do some much with something that tends to get run over by the lawnmower. I could make so many things! That thought lasted about two days, until I really looked around my house and realized I’m not a Pinterest person.

Would I really enjoy seeing a pinecone Santa at Christmas? Maybe if it were at somebody else’s house. I don’t have candles in my house and my kitchen table is too full of homework and school projects to host a centerpiece. I barely wear any jewelry at all, let alone something created with a glue gun. I don’t even have houseplants. I guess I’m a left-brained person in a right-brained online world.

I did try the arts and crafts thing once. I went to a mom’s day out program where the children were left in a nursery and we moms were left to bond. The bonding involved making a pumpkin out of part of a dryer vent. I had absolutely no interest in it, but I made a sad little pumpkin that was pretty deflated by the time I got home. I walked in and put it on my kitchen counter. My husband walked by and burst out laughing. I couldn’t help but join in – this really wasn’t me or my style. Out it went in the trash.

Now, however, I am mildly tempted by some of the painting parties I’ve seen on Facebook. You go for an evening out and, guided by an artist, you paint a painting. The paintings look really good, and it sounds like fun. Maybe, just maybe, I might let my right brain out to play.

As long as it doesn’t involve pinecones.